A Trip We Didn't See Coming and Didn't Want to Take, But Here We Are….
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Driving without words on a chilly morning as the leafs fall…. IT WAS CHILLY. Forty-eight degrees, but for Connie, too chilly for a walk. Her internal temperature controls are awry these Continue Reading →
Connie says she is losing it and she is scared. So am I. Week by week it becomes more clear where we are going and neither of us wants to Continue Reading →
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When I heard there was a way I might be able to get more familiar with what my wife’s new world might be like, or might become, I was skeptical. Continue Reading →
Haven’t posted for a while. Blame it on ennui…. Been a while since I posted on this blog. Once upon a time I had plans to make this a semi-weekly or Continue Reading →
How you handle the costs of dying depends on where you live, whether you think Medicaid might be in your future and where your highest level of trust is – Continue Reading →
I’ve been the caregiver for a while now, but got to thinking what might happen if the tables turned…. I am sitting on the patio chugging water. Omnipaque Oral Solution Continue Reading →
If your loved one is in a care facility, be sure you know how it handles violent residents, and understand you need to be a part of keeping your family Continue Reading →
Death came into the memory care unit this morning…. It was quiet this morning in the memory care unit. The day started with a death. It was not unexpected. He Continue Reading →
Around a couple of tables there was a beauty shop and for a while there was a bit of life lost come back for the women and for an old Continue Reading →
Sometimes we all just need somebody, or a few somebodies…… EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY… We have this little group that meets monthly at Connie’s care facility. It’s put together by two Continue Reading →
I thought I had all the financial stuff, in terms of a will and beneficiaries, done but then I ran into a bit of a snag from the care unit…. Continue Reading →
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One day we decided to sit down and talk about how we got to today, and let Connie give the patient’s perspective. This is part of an ongoing series about Continue Reading →
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The wills you drew up when you were healthy may not serve you when long-term care is involved. There are complexities around long-term care and estates that make “do it Continue Reading →
Who cares for the caregiver? So, what happens when the caregiver needs care? I had not thought of that, but then a few weeks ago I fired up an existing Continue Reading →
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There are paintings on the wall, jigsaw puzzles on the counter and good people all around, but it’s an institution after all and the doors swing one way… “How do Continue Reading →
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When Connie went into memory care, I was in survival mode financially – get the bills paid. Over time I realized that wasn’t going to work long-term. Making sure our Continue Reading →
You can’t go back in time, but you can look back and this day, it’s all about a swimming pool triggering memories of sun, sand, youth, music and beverages. I Continue Reading →
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We celebrated July 4, and it was fun, but dementia and living apart has made holidays different. Better? Worse? Or maybe just different… IT’S JULY 4 and I am surrounded by Continue Reading →
A lesson learned – when you are living with dementia, go easy on having too many expectations…. THERE’S A RESIDENT appreciation cookout in an hour or so on the patio of Continue Reading →
Connie and I both are creating new communities as live apart but try to stay together. It’s a good thing… I THINK I am settling into a new sense of community Continue Reading →
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I took a plane to Dallas and went back to work for a few weeks, and it was good… I GOT ON a plane last month and flew to Dallas to Continue Reading →
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Sometimes what you need is just a walk in the woods, and while you may be walking alone and thinking of someone who used to walk with you, it’s still Continue Reading →
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You can choose how you enter into a memory unit. I choose a smile and a big wave, and to see everyone for what they were. I BELIEVE WHEN dementia has Continue Reading →
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On grief, guilt and dying twice…. OUR FAMILY support group at Connie’s care facility is going to meet in a few days and talk about grief. I’m also going to bring Continue Reading →
I moved a while back. Not a big move but one that triggered some thoughts and emotions. I MOVED A few weeks ago, couple of months after Connie went into the Continue Reading →
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We were doing what we had to do, and Connie agreed, but it was a hard day filled with the sorrow of parting… This is part of an ongoing series Continue Reading →
When it comes to long-term care insurance, most Americans are going to be priced out of the market. A little update on the earlier post about the horrible financial burden Continue Reading →
From in-home care to memory care to nursing, care is not cheap in this country. This is part of an ongoing series about our family’s experience with dementia. There is Continue Reading →
Even when you loved one isn’t living at home any more, you remain a care-giver This is part of an ongoing series about our family’s experience with dementia. There is Continue Reading →
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At some point you will have to assume responsibilities for helping your loved one, and often doing family tasks they have done for years. It will take a team. This Continue Reading →
Our path to finding out what we were dealing with was blocked because we didn’t have the right medical help at first. When we got it, things changed quickly and Continue Reading →
The signs of dementia are similar to the signs of a lot of conditions but sooner or later, it starts to look like what it is. This is part of Continue Reading →
Good question. Most people do not go directly to dementia. You go almost anywhere else looking for what’s going on, often with good reason, but it’s hard to pinpoint that Continue Reading →
Testing is critical to determine what a patient might be dealing with, though one thing they have in common at this time is, there is no cure. This is part Continue Reading →
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We didn’t see it coming. No family history. But then, there it was and nothing will ever be the same. THIS IS THE beginning of a tale about an ending. I Continue Reading →
This is part of an ongoing series about our family’s experience with dementia. There is no order to it, just observations, reflections and, I hope, some guidance for others on Continue Reading →
https://youtube.com/shorts/bnh5aNnCvLc I COULD HEAR Julie singing before I got to Connie’s unit. The soft and light voice, the strumming of the guitar. Julie comes once a week to sign to Connie, Continue Reading →
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LINGERING: To remain alive or existent although still proceeding toward death or extinction; to die gradually. It is a word I have come to hate as I sit by Connie’s bed Continue Reading →
When death’s coming gives you time there are things you can do, plans you can make that will help give you peace when it is over.. THERE ARE THINGS to do Continue Reading →
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Our hospice nurses have told us Connie is transitioning and the end most likely is near and good-byes are so, so hard DO YOU WANT to stay, I asked Connie last Continue Reading →
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A FRIEND’S BROTHER is in memory care and he recently visited him for the first time. His impression? “I wondered why he was in there. He carried on a perfectly normal Continue Reading →
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Connie’s sister and our niece came to visit and for a few minutes, at least, dementia let Connie out and it was nice CONNIE’S SISTER JANET and our niece Sarah dropped Continue Reading →
Dr. Anna Thomas wrote about burnout this week and for me it could not have been more timely. If you are a caregiver in any capacity, it’s well worth a Continue Reading →
I went to see Connie and ended up waiting tables. THEY SEEM TO be having staffing issues at the memory care center. There is a core staff but the faces Continue Reading →
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For caregivers the waiting for what you know is coming, while not wanting it to come, can drain the life from you WAITING FOR someone to die is so damned exhausting. Continue Reading →
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Another round of lessons learned as we navigate dementia… KUDOS TO OUR local Social Security office here in West Chester. I had been trying to get into Connie’s account to get Continue Reading →