Vignettes…

A thinning out, Thanksgiving supper and a visitor….

            VIGNETTES…

            Things have thinned out in Connie’s memory care unit. We have had a couple of deaths, on top of some previous deaths. Folks aren’t moving in and the new memory care unit downstairs has vacancies. I’ve mentioned this before. Leadership here took a look at the rapidly growing number of dementia cases in the U.S. and thought it was time to get out ahead of the demand for care.

            Alas, what they didn’t consider was the cold reality the vast majority of Americans can’t afford what they are offering. If you don’t have some serious wealth or long-term care insurance, you can’t afford places like we are in. Memory care here costs north of $11,300 a month. We have long-term care that covers 75 percent of it. Otherwise, we would not be here. Where would be? I have no idea in hell. 

            This is a crisis, and one our government is blind to or too dysfunctional to solve. 

            I thought it was a good idea at the time. I was going to bring Connie back to the apartment for a night away from the memory care center. A Thanksgiving supper and TV at my place. She had not been back to the complex for an evening meal and night of TV since she moved into memory care in January 2024. She’s been back during the day, but not for an evening like so many we shared before this disease took all that away.

            The turkey breast was perfect, juicy and tender after a short time in my new air fryer. I made up some mashed potatoes with gravy, some green beans and had ice cream for dessert. It was all good. Then we settled in for TV. After ten minutes Connie said she wanted to go home. Said she was tired. I asked her if she was going to go straight to bed – it was only 6:30 – or watch TV. Watch TV, she said. Why can’t you watch it here? I asked. She didn’t know, so took her back and we watched TV there.

            She later said she felt bad, that she had screwed up the evening. I told her she had not. It’s just that now she has a home where she feels safe and it’s not our – my – apartment. So it goes…..

            Connie had a visit from a friend this morning and it was nice. It was a visit from a woman who was among her closest friends during our eleven years living in Vermont. She has family 20 minutes away so came over to West Chester. It was a short visit. Only 30 minutes or so. Because of the speech aphasia that accompanies her frontal temporal dementia Connie can’t talk. But she can listen and Nadia talked of old times, filled Connie in on her life. They hugged. Later Connie got teary. “That was so nice,” she said of the visit. Yes, it was….

Rich Heiland, has been a reporter, editor, publisher/general manager at daily papers in Texas, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Ohio and New Hampshire. He was part of a Pulitzer Prize-winning team at the Xenia Daily (OH) Daily Gazette, a National Newspaper Association Columnist of the Year. Since 1995 he has operated an international consulting, public speaking and training business specializing in customer service, general management, leadership and staff development with major corporations, organizations, and government. Semi-retired, he and his wife live in West Chester, PA. He can be reached at [email protected].