A local man did everything right, but ended up with his father suffering in a sub-par facility.
THERE WAS A story in the local newspaper this morning about a man filing a lawsuit against a memory care facility in the county. It was interesting on two levels. He’s an outgoing county assistant prosecutor (moving to private practice) who handled child abuse cases. He’s most likely seen it all.
But, when he saw what was happening to his father, who was suffering from dementia and no longer could be cared for at home, in a facility he felt they had thoroughly vetted he said he was filled with “helplessness, despair, exhaustion and guilt.”
He’s not seeking a lot of money – $50,000. What he’s doing, in my opinion, is making a point and making it publicly, and it’s a good one.
When he was searching for a facility, he and his family did everything right. They visited; they talked to staff. They looked at staffing numbers, training and procedures. When they moved his father in, they felt confident he was going into a safe place.
But what was sold to them was not what was delivered. After three months his father had gone from a man who could still dress himself, shower and shave, feed himself to a man who was falling, couldn’t do anything for himself. It was obvious, the man said, he was suffering from dehydration, among other things, but when he complained he was told to “get him a bigger water bottle.”
That was a telling statement, since dementia patients often don’t know they are dehydrating and they won’t drink, regardless of how big a glass they have. They need to be monitored.
He eventually moved his father to a new facility and is pleased with his treatment. It’s not likely the decline his father suffered from neglect in the previous one can be totally reversed, but at least now the family can have some peace of mind.
I AM SHARING this because, while what he experienced might be on the extreme side, it is not on the rare side. Even well-managed care facilities can have staffing issues that impact resident care. That’s why it’s imperative that families be vigilant and when anything crosses the line in terms of a loved one’s safety, they speak up.
My wife, Connie, is in a good care facility. I have confidence in it. We vetted it thoroughly, just like this man did. In our case, most of what we were told is true; in his, it was not.
But I don’t give our facility a clean bill on this. I have concerns, but I preface those by saying that staffing any care facility is difficult; staffing a memory care unit is even more so.
To work in a memory care unit, you obviously need training in dealing with all the levels of both physical and mental decline. This can range from something as simple as holding your temper when frustration builds to knowing how to change an adult diaper and everything in between.
On a personal level, though, I think it takes a person who has as a part of their nature a caring heart. In a memory care unit, a staff member will see adults who have regressed to a sort of infancy, who are unpredictable, who act out in various ways. The sort of human patience to deal with that does not exist in everyone. I am not sure it exists in me.
At our facility I sense there are staffing issues. Some staff have told me their numbers have been reduced. Not all beds are filled. Care is expensive and unless a family has significant resources, or long-term care insurance, it’s not affordable. That’s why beds go unfilled.
I don’t notice it so much during the day but at nights and one weekends, staffing sometimes seems slim. There is no consistency in who is working. Faces change frequently. One staffer sometimes has her husband in the unit with her. Others go out and sit in cars with partners who drop by. Many spend time on their phones. Have a I reported this? Not so far. At midnight in a memory care unit, it is dull as hell, unlike early evening when everyone is sundowning.
I don’t think this impacts my wife’s safety. I know staff makes rounds throughout the night. But I am keeping an eye on it. If I ever sense her safety and health are being impacted, trust me, I will speak up.
Right now, though, I stand between knowing what management faces in hiring and training and being my wife’s guardian. If the scale tips, I am always going to be in the latter role.
I remain vigilant and I guess that’s my message.
What’s the saying? “Trust but verify.”
Rich Heiland, has been a reporter, editor, publisher/general manager at daily papers in Texas, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Ohio and New Hampshire. He was part of a Pulitzer Prize-winning team at the Xenia Daily (OH) Daily Gazette, a National Newspaper Association Columnist of the Year. Since 1995 he has operated an international consulting, public speaking and training business specializing in customer service, general management, leadership and staff development with major corporations, organizations, and government. Semi-retired, he and his wife live in West Chester, PA. He can be reached at [email protected].
Thank you for what you are doing! Hugs to you both